Thursday, October 23, 2014

Here there be Dragons

I don't want to love you
With the love you can only find
In fairytales and songs
This pure
Unbroken lightness
It is a shallow myth
Deluding the young and naïve
With promises it cannot fulfill
Of golden days
And sweet nights
Adrift on peppermint winds
With no cares
I do not want a perfect love
For no such thing exists
And seeking to attain it
Is grasping at shadows
And such a love
Would never feel like home

With you, I want an earned love
A love that sits, exhausted
At the summit
Having conquered a mountain
Through pure ragged effort
A love that pushes forward
Though the map clearly reads 
"Here there be dragons"
A love which conquers every beast
With soft words
And delicate kisses
And the kind of sex
That would make your friends jealous

I want, with you
A love that is greater than my fears
And which labors diligently in the fields and mines
To build a better tomorrow
I wish our love
To be always discontent
And always moving forward, growing
Swearing heartily at detractors
And basking in the glare of those who would dare say
“This is not the way”

A love, not of desperate need
But of choices made, every day
To be together
I want to love you,
Without the innocence of young love
And without the stagnation of resigned affection
A love that chooses to stay
Rather than suffering through dishonest necessity
A love of renewed desires
Instead of one of duty or obligation
A love that feels
Like it belongs in a movie
Where the hero dies

I want to love you
With every withered, broken, scarred piece of me
So that every kiss burns away a little more
Of the pain that hovers over me
I want to love you
With the harsh breath of uncertainty
Fighting desperately
To fulfill every failing moment
Choosing love, and you, every day

I'm homesick for a place
I've never been
Longing to return to your arms
To feel as safe
As any place
I've ever called home
But nothing feels like home now
Except for you