Saturday, March 28, 2015

Wanderer


I found myself in the desert, alone
With no answers
To too many questions
And with no rhyme or reason
Or direction to go
I wandered the desert
Lost and bereft of hope
Searching for answers
Amidst the sand and rocks
Under an unforgiving sun
For many days I walked
Perchance to find some refuge
Or at least a place
That was safe to die

One day
I came across a scorpion
Sitting upon a rock
Feasting upon terrified bugs
And he asked me
“Wanderer, what do you seek?”
I faltered
Eyes drifting from white-hot sky
To amber sand
And to the scorpion, I replied
“I seek the oasis inside of me”
With a laugh, he speared a helpless bug
And began to feast
“Wanderer” he chortled, crawling under the rocks
His hunger sated
“There is no pure water inside of you
You are a lost soul
And like all those who come here for answers
I doubt you shall ever drink”

And so I walked on
Stumbling my way through shifting sands
And the ancient ruins of lost chances
Passing the bleached bones of my predecessors
Their skeletal hands crooked in defiance of the sun
While their skulls grinned
And it was by one such skeleton I stopped
For it was unlike the others
And so I asked the skeleton
“My friend, you seem untroubled
Something unique to this wasteland
What answers did you find?
And where should I seek mine?”
The skeleton looked at me, unblinking
“Wanderer” she said
“I never found anything I sought
None of us ever did
We wept for water
And we all died thirsty”
I pondered her words as she sighed
“Wanderer” she whispered
“I fear that all who seek
Will start as you
And end as me”

For hours I trundled onward
Head bowed against the blowing sands
And mocking winds
Taunting heat shimmers
Calling to me from every dune
Begging me to just sit a while
To stay and enjoy their hospitality
Tender caresses of sandpaper lips
The phantasmagoric shifting of images
Conjured from heat and hopelessness
So I fell to my knees
At the mercy of the mirage
And between kisses she asked me
“Wanderer, why do you resist?
You know you’ll be lost forever
You could at least dance with us”
Looking at the mirage
I struggled to my feet
“Mirage, I’m sorry
But I don’t have enough answers
To stop searching”
And so, I kept walking

That night
I saw the stars in the dark blanket of the sky
Mesmerized by their beauty
I stopped to stare
My tired legs giving way,
Falling to my knees
I looked up to the stars
Winking like cold candles
And under their beauty
I wept
And around me I saw the flickering blink
Of fireflies dancing among the brush
One landed on my shoulder
And he looked at me in askance
“Wanderer, I’ve seen many of you here before
Walking among the tired sands
And never have I seen one
Look at the stars and weep
Without cursing them
For their audacious display
Of light in the darkness”
And from my place in the sand, I replied
“Firefly, I have seen too much darkness
To curse any light
And I’ve been lost in this desert too long
To wish for more
Than to fall into a night as beautiful as this”
The firefly winked brightly
“Wanderer, if you’ll but find your feet again
You’ll find there is more hope in the sands
For even the inhospitable desert
Is home to life
And beauty
And sometimes we find answers not by seeking
But by letting ourselves be found”
And so I came to my feet
Bloodied and exhausted
And I walked

As dawn broke, my tired feet dragged
Bogged in sand and resignation
At the edge of my vision
Rose a shimmering image
Of verdant green
And shimmering blue
And I called out for the mirage
But there was no answer
And so I stumbled forward
Into the arms of the oasis
A harsh green wound
In the bleak landscape
Fed by the purest waters
I stumbled to the water’s edge
And fell to my knees
The cool water a blessing to parched lips
And in the calm reflection
I saw not one face
But two
And before I could ask any questions
I felt a comforting hand upon my shoulder
And you were there, your arms around me
In your embrace
I realized that I had never lost myself
But that I had merely found myself
In you

Friday, March 6, 2015

Giant Slayer


I have spent my life
Bathed in dragon fire
Dodging the steps of giants
And the claws of beasts
And yet
I've never seen a monster
That wasn't born in my mind
Reflected from the mirror
Or in loving eyes

I never saw myself as a hero
Or you as a savior
We are only two people
Who found each other
In the midst of battle
I know that I cannot defeat myself
But maybe we can save each other

I wanted you to know me
Without tasting the blood of dragons
In every kiss
I wanted more time to know you
As something more
Than a slayer of giants
As something more
Than where my monsters went
To feast upon my heart
Because I had made it yours
Now they dwell between us
Feeding on two hearts

And I know
I could love you better,
My giant slayer,
If I had known that love
Was more than a name
For the fucked up things
That hurt too much
To keep to ourselves