Wednesday, December 30, 2015

Paper Skin


I have bled words and blood
In equal measure
Though more often, lately
It is the words that spill from me
Sometimes in shy drops
Or the unfettered torrent of open veins of thought
Pouring a midnight sea of sorrow
Under starless skies
I wrestle with the demons
Of times and places in my before
When there was no guarantee of an after
Longing for a dawn of hope within
I have found it less soothing
To set pen to paper
Than to set blade to flesh
Yet I persist in resistance
Because I do not wish
To have my stubborn mind yield itself to temptation
As easily as flesh once yielded itself to steel
And so I sit
Pulling inspiration from my darkness
Like pulling monsters from the sea
And dragging them ashore to stand triumphant
Bleeding my words
Letting the nightmares spill across paper
As the ink sinks into the blank whiteness
My flesh has borne too many scars
And so I draw fresh trails in words and images
A map to new beginnings
Old endings sprawling from my tender, torn canvas
To the pristine whiteness of a new page
Like tracks winding through the depths
Of the first deep snow
I shall not be defined by the scars
Or the dark sea within my head
Where monsters lurk, seeking to pull down ships and sailors
I have had enough of blood
And of storms on dark seas
So instead, I give the world my thoughts
A more intimate deluge
Smearing dark waters across the light of realization
So that colors may bleed into the contrast
Giving life to a blooming hope
That, though I have not yet come so far from dark seas
Someday, there will be a sun upon the horizon

Wednesday, December 23, 2015

Elegy


In order to see the sunrise
We have to let the stars fade
Like memories of days before
And colors from still-frames
I doubt the world would notice
If we tore out our bleeding hearts
They'd simply criticize our form and pose
While the blood dripped from our hands
And complain about the stains on their shoes
So I smile pretty
A plastic smile
Plastered on my face
Reminding me of the nights
Drawing shards of love across my throat
When you couldn't tell which smile
To kiss goodbye
My lungs screaming to a stop
As the world stands still
And I was alone in the moment

So we sing a song with meaning
Where the words make you stop and listen
A melody with feeling
Marking the lonely and our losses
Eyes wide open
Clinging to blurred images
Like hearts to dying feelings
Cutting down the final curtain
Before the last lines are spoken
Taking our last bow
As we burn ourselves out
Along with bridges we've crossed over
Casting handfuls of ashes into the past
I would rather burn for the truth
Than live for the lies in their eyes
If ignorance is bliss
I swear these must be happy times
While hearts lie, heavy
In all the sad, somber spaces

I remembered to smile
And wave goodbye
But I can't remember
If you laughed or cried
I found out today
How inspiration dies
We just lose heart
Standing under the gun
For the things we love
A trigger's pull from the end of the line
While all that was going through my head
Were thoughts of tomorrow
The barrel of the gun
Was carved with your name
The bullet engraved with the words
"Love, Always"